What should I be?

I was always more than anticipated 

Beyond expected

And a lot awaited

I was rain in summer

Heat in winter

Sunshine in dark

The balm on abraided skin

Reflected across waters

Of rising tides 

In dreary lands

I flew with the birds

And dove with the dolphins 

But that was then

When you were there 

To show me the mirror

In your benevolent eyes

When I grew wings

Because you saw me fly

When I learnt to swim

Because you desired my salty moist skin

I no more know

What I should be

When you are not here!

My Universe

My universe is small

Little sunshine

Some moonshine

And tiny bits of me

Floating like planets

Revolving around the core

Full of gravity

That won't let it all come too close

Lest my world collapses into

A blackhole

Nor would it let it all

Spill too far

Lest it may loose

Its entity

My Universe gives birth

To tiny little stars

And huge supernovas

Churning out rainbows

Across milkyways

Pulsating like the heart

Never too big

Nor too crowded

My Universe is small

Come find me....

An ode to the new world!

There is a new beginning 

Right beyond that turn

All you have to do is reach there

See its just at your doorstep

And there is a new world there

It doesn't see you the way

You see yourself

It has eyes wider and brighter

A more accepting heart

A bigger  mind

That doesn't only reason

But is reasonable too

All you have to do

Is reach that turn

Its not too far

But it won't walk towards you

You can't see it unless you make the choice

It doesn't come on new year's

Or any other day you may consider auspicious 

It doesn't come at all

Unless you decide to go

And go you must

Coz its right across the corner

The corner where people looked at you oddly 

The corner which asked you to bend and tilt

The corner which cornered you

It's the turn beyond which you can't see

But feel the breeze carrying the fragrance

Of the freedom to be you...

When I close my eyes...

I have seen your tears

Sometimes at the back of the bathroom

In the red films on the whites of your eyes

At the washbasins 

Being washed off with the makeup

At dining tables

Being blown out with the cold through the nose

I have heard your sighs

Big and small

Soft and loud

Choked midway in the throat

Muffled in hmmms and ummms

Released with the fog to let the warmth in

In the whirls of your cigarette smoke

I have seen your curling and trembling

With fists clenching

Spine arching 

Shoulder shrugging 

Neck jerking 

to ward off the shudder

I have laughed with it

In the angle of your mouth

While you grin it off

Floating in between your dirty jokes

Peeping through moments of sudden quite in the bustling discourse

I have tasted it

With your never ending hunger

Goaded with forks 

Scooped with spoons

Swallowed with unheard spasms

I have known

The pain

The strife

The denial

The acceptance

The ridicule

The faith

I have seen

And closed my eyes....

The star of the moonless night!

I am not the moon

Of your sky

I am the star

That twinkles at a distance 

Among a million others

On a moonless night

In my universe

I could be a sun

Or a dead planet

Reflecting radiance sourced from others

But you don't know that

While you fix your gaze on me

In your universe

I am the star

On a moonless night

And those nights are few

Days are many

When I am masked

You think I am gone

But you fail to see

All those stars behind the suns

And moons of your existence 

I am that star!

The shadow

Where do the shadows fall
when you walk alone at night
and there is no moon
to show you the way
You don't have to hide
the clear water of agony
running down your cheeks
won't reflect anything
The taut muscles of your body
held tightly against the storms raging within
can snap in silence
The creases of anguish
lining your mouth
struggling to muster a smile
can grow deeper
no one can question the pall of gloom
 hanging around you
The sighs can grow louder now
and become ghosts howling in their misery
The stillness can blend with anything
 become a mystery never acknowledged
and there are no shadows
because you become one......

ये ख्वाहिशों के मंज़र

मंज़िलों के सर चढ़े हैं

हर मील के पत्थर तक

ख्वाबों के क़ाफिले हैं

ऐ ज़िन्दगी तुझ से मिलकर

जलसा यूं मनाना है

हर साल तेरी मौजों को

सीनें में सजाना है

ग़र आह कहीं निकले

तमन्ना को फिर बड़ा दे

मंज़िलों को पीछे छोड़ूं

सपनों में ठिकाना है।