Naked!

and then you said
life has a meaning
with in its fabric
you just need to look harder
see the asymmetry of the threads
the knots and the patches
its not perfect
it just is

covering my being
despite the holes and the patches
 unique in its flaws
 as vulnerable as it is protective
and as the wind blows
billowing the weaving
my being pulls it closer
unwilling to let go
no matter how dissatisfied I feel with my garb
I want it
because without it
I am naked!

ek ehsaas !

एक एहसास था

रात

 जब तेरा साया

सांस के साथ बहकने लगा

नींद के आगोश में

थरथराता सा

सपना बन के

जागता सा

एक एहसास

जिंदगी का...........

Introspections V- The Fog

It  seems like the right time to write- I am down with cold and the brain is foggy. Fogginess is somehow conducive of thoughts  that are unclear enough to inspire curiosity- curiosity that makes it worth a dekko!
So that is what is interesting- not knowing what we are looking for, pretending that it is the answer we are interested in when what catches our fancy is the question. And we want to be the one who understands the question..........well this is getting weird....too foggy......to unclear!

When I missed you!

There have been times
of agony and strife
when I missed you
long after you were gone
in the foggy past
I did not realise
the moments of togetherness
were still hidden in the ancient chest
like jewels of unknown value
till the lid burst open
brightening the night
that surrounded me
in those times of agony and strife
when I missed you!

The story of an Abstract Art

you make me believe
 in my abstraction
how you derive meanings
in gestures i am not aware of
a little nuance in my monologue
a storm in my brooding silence
a glee in my sudden irritated outbursts
that makes you smile
love me more


you make me see
the blur in my physical form
the non concreteness of my mind
beyond practical
you call it interesting
to yourself
while i deride my life as mundane
but not my 'self'


you make me hear
the tinkle in my laughter
that never left my lips
the chuckle
still caught in the throat
the sigh
mirroring in my eyes


I am
the abstract painting
on your blank canvas.....




(free for insightful  interpretation
as your strokes give me form
always waiting
to be fathomed!)

Hope

I hope
to wake up one day
as the sun rises
turning the dark sky
first red then gold then fiery
from this perpetual nocturnal existence
I have not seen the sun
just heard of it
how it lights up the world
making every colour of life
visible and vivid
how it warms the heart
and wakes the senses
I have had dreams
of such vibrant forms
that must be around me
dreams that stem from imagination
reaching out of the senses
giving form to the desires
that arise from knowing
that there are no limits
if we just let go 

The School

Lets go and watch....
he is talking to the sun again
how funny
he believes sun will do something
if he chants a prayer
its just a ball of burning gas
he talks to mud
formed in figures
and chants 
hoping to change destiny
another odd concept
as if someone out there
had nothing more to do
than focus on his singular pitiful existence
creating obstacles or removing them
he goes about the day
carving his meals in the din of existence
hoping to find a meaning
when no meaningless words are heard
under the same sultry sun
who he talks to
calm 
like a child
secure in the knowledge
that mother will return
when the bell rings
and the school gets over!

Introspections IV- A dull moment!

Perhaps it is hormones, or exhaustion of several years of surviving it out, like the wheel of a car stuck in mud rotating and groaning at every turn- its been unappealing and gloomy for a while!
 Even through change, with Anna Hazare's assumed triumph from a national perspective, to addition of a new asset from a personal perspective- nothing seems to change!
With growth being the gist of all the living done by us, the growth seems to be limited to the greying of the physical form while the singular conscience of individuals and  the collective conscience of the society stays tiresomely same!
Well it must be the hormones, or the typical act of surviving through the conflicting world of wanting to rise above the quagmire of unchanging ethos while the people one fights for are the ones pulling one back into the security or comfort of deep, wet, slimy mud that senses are dulled!
I should wash my face...........

Introspections III

May be I should write today...after all I have been reading and watching movies belonging to the fantasy genre for more than a week now. As to why that should be a reason, well..... because it stirs imagination. There are people who cant seem to enjoy the fairy tales, the dragons and the elves, and the happy endings , because its all so unreal, so senseless;"how can it happen". At some point of time during growing up, we become too rational, too much in touch with reality and we loose one way to escape the mundane. In psychology, there is no pathology mentioned that emerges from being too much in touch with reality as opposed to psychosis that results from not being in touch with reality- so there is nothing to worry about from the clinical perspective..but from another perspective(I still need to become more imaginative to find an interesting name for it), its not all that well either.....well not for all at least.
As a child, I spent hours reading  superhero comics and I always enjoyed the mystical/magical world of fantasy. Some part of me still hopes that a world beyond our's exists where happy endings is the rule. What is interesting about the fantasy stories written till date, be it Harry Potter or Eragone or Chronicals of Narnia , the underlying principles are so simple- that 'love is the strongest weapon', that 'evil fears love and tries to destroy it to win but it still finds place in human heart as hope', that 'first destroy the evil within to conquer the one outside', that 'if we have happy memories to hold on to, we can ward of depressing dementors'.....to my fellow professionals in the field of psychology- CBT. Or common sense which is not so common (or the world or at least half of it, won't need us- the psychiatry and psychology professionals).
But thank God for small mercies- neither is common sense common, nor the simpler things in life so important........I can't go any further- imagination needs more practice..what should I read next?