Lonely musings...

Lonely in my musings
I sit here
waiting for no one
the sun is setting somewhere
i cant talk in hyperbole anymore
the poem won't form tonight
am i grieving the loss of words
or mourning the loss of meaning
like the barren land of mirages
images form
i chase them
with complete devotion
cognizant of its illusion
still disillusioned at the end of the chase
it does not exist
the waking dream
the lie of existence
the beauty of anguish
the exaltation of unrequited love
the vicarious pleasures in acted out fantasies

...and I sit here
the night has probably fallen
the sky may have a moon and stars
loneliness may be the one thing I cherish
but I cherish your company more
my illusions
in my lone musings
 the loss is shattering
the house of cards
I build so lovingly
is giving up its farce of shelter

...so I mourn
my disillusionment
the starkness of reality
leaves me naked
scarred
I sit here again
in my lonely musings...