Reflections II- Are we a regressive society?

Lately I have been thinkig a lot about evolution. Is it a form of development or just a new skin added over the old psyche. After all , all living beings are bound by the same to instincts- food and sex. I can't think of a third thing. And we regress or progress, only to serve these two functions.
It all started when I saw patients at the clinic, with problems related to dowry, and incessant demands by in laws for money. I wondered if my scowling at the regressive afternoon soaps was after all my own ignorance.
I hadnot seen it happening around me untill recently when I found one closest to me getting married into a family that made demands all in the name of the society;"hamari society mein yeh chalta hai," and 'aapki izzat, hamari izzat". Till now, I thought demanding behaviour was cheap and passe', not really an 'izzat wala" thing, well I was so wrong. Adding insult to the injury were the very family members of the girl's side, agreeing to the demands echoing the same sentiment,'aajkal society mein yeh chalta hai'. 'Aaj yeh chalta hai to kal kya chalta tha..........aur parson.....aur Raja Ram mohan Rai ke zaane mein?" At the risk of sounding cliche', if we just let things be for the sake of society, how will the society progress?
But then, does it ever progress! Its like growing up with ego scattered all over the psychosexual stages to overcome the conflicts- dont interpret as english- I am talking Freudian psychology. Any major stress and one regresses back to primitive methods to deal with them, so cry or shout- isnt this what a neonate does!
Recently someone's parent in law lashed out at the daughter in law because of what a relative from her side had done to upset him..........basically the relatives should have understood their status as "ladki walas" and followed the general rule of not offending the "ladka walas". This is a family that leaves no opportunity to display their disapproval of the society's way of following rules beyond one's convenience to the extent that attending someone's death ceremony is a useless act because "we have a busy schedule", so what the drama was all about? Regression to a primitive mode- aggression. And what for- because this time the absentees were from the girl's side!
But what finally happens in most such cases is that the ego battles of the older inviduals makes the younger ones take sides and end up complicating their lives. Where true maturity would mean understanding each others limitations as humans and not imposing ones wishes on the others, younger members learn to do the opposite. Push, impose, force and end up having dissatisfactory bad relationships. That hasn't changed over the years, so what's the fraud about developing/ progressing/ reaching extra terrestrial space.
I wrote a story in 8th standard, 'dhobi ka kutta", about the plight of woman who finds no sense of belonging at either her parent's place because she has to finally get married and leave them, nor at the husband's place where she is seen as an outsider. For a long time, I thought it had lost its relevance. Not any more.........may be someone will publish it this time.

The Fear Psychology

Somewhere through the dungeons of mind a noise comes and holds me still, rooted to the ground.

I am afraid to call out or look around, its the primal fear of the unknown. I have to understand the meaning in everything I come across, to feel secure in my knowledge of the environment I dwell in- inside and out. I am afraid of getting lost and not finding the way back home. I am afraid of being left alone even if its the solitude I desire, in unfamiliar surroundings. In my fear, I presume all mysteries to be threatening - be it the aliens or the occult. I presume and get entangled in a web of my own creation, a world of my own negative expectations and I make ghosts come alive. Then I draw my weapons and am ready to fight- against an enemy I have invented.

Introspections- II

Its a different experience altogether when one gets to talk to a very very old friend. He is not a stranger but still someone new. But the diallemma is beyond the newness- for a new individual, the pages are blank; for an old friend, their is faded ink.......you dont know what the incomplete sentences mean, you only presume and then you find new meanings, new interpretations. Its like discovering an ancestral past but not quite. There is the individual you thought you knew but still somehow different. No its not the experience or the maturity- its the perspective. I can't seem not to think about 'The Pepper Tree', from the english reader in school- how the memories of bygone era (read childhood) tend to be coloured by the innocence of that era. The past is glorious because we expect it to be better than the present.

We all want to revert back to it sometime in future, to complete the cycle of life. Only the future isnt the past-it is the future only.

Communication

Talk to me

in silence

through the demure quiver

of my physical being
in my conscience as I struggle
to let you stay
and cry
Listen to me
in the turmoil
of raging battles
without arguements
accepting
the sounds of soul
as it sounds


then we communicate!

Reflections

There is a deep disturbing sense of un ease..........we call it anxiety............we (read Freudians) say everything is anxiety and we attach meanings to it and then give it names- fear/sadness/nervousness/anger/excitement etc. etc. Its the import attached to the feeling and it can be either negative or positive. If we break everything down to basics, that's how simple it gets. But does it help? In my sessions with my patients, I work on the principal that if I make a phenomena simple, it makes life simpler, easy to understand.........and perhaps easy to live with!
But why do we complicate life; argue and not accept; prove and dis approve; rationalise and justify. Yes, we call it defense mechanism. We defend ourselves from perceived threats inside and outside. This unrest; this unease is primal to our being; like instinct...........

"A fierce unrest seethes at the core,

Of all existing things,
It was the eager wish to soar,

That gave the gods their wings."

 Don Marquis

Introspection

I am trying to find inspiration............I am looking around...............here, there, everywhere...........I even searched the dictionary. Not that I have nothing else to do...........why did I refrain from writing "nothing better to do", its odd when you look at yourself from a neutral perspective. But that is what I tell people (read patients) to do. I guess the profession becomes your life after a while. I  am still looking for an inspiration.......but work comes in the way. It takes place of the inspiration and makes all ideas monotonous. Is that the natural progression of every human mind- perhaps that is aging, when thoughts get narrowed down to few topics, we start loosing the faculty called imagination to venture through unknown terrains, and end up being obsessive/stubborn/orthodox...........un inspired!
If Alzhiemer's can be tackled by doing Sudoku, senile stubbornness should be dealt with by practicing fantasy thinking..............here is a thought!

Beyond denial

what is it
the deep ach
deep inside
like the cry of a very small baby
far far away
drowned in the noise around
as the heart skips a beat
it fades away
but leaves something familiar
an emotion
I can't identify
I can't deny